I kinda feel like I am drowning right now.
The people, the loved ones, that forgive and forgive and forgive....

Sometimes I am a very bad friend.
I forget birthdays, to call back, reply to emails...

I pick up and leave telling only those who happen to cross my path.

But I never forget the love.
I'll never forget how each and every one of you has helped me in a big way.
I will repay you.
I will be a better person

I have a lot of growing up to do
A lot of letting go
A lot of accepting and understanding

And it's all just a small piece of the pumpkin pie.

Happy Holidays everyone. This is my favorite time of year.

When the Mountains Call

....I can't ignore the ringing....


I HAVE to answer...


Turns out, they want me to go back, and I need them just as much as they need me.

OK mountains, you win, we're coming home.

Road Rash

Hi all, Virginia here. Matt says hi.

A little Tarantino here: We're OK, and so is my leg... but my pasta and pants are not.

Matt picked me, and our dinner up from work tonight on the bike (a common practice).

We were aproaching Bryan on Jamboree going toward the 5 freeway. A driver in the left hand turn lane waiting at a red light for oncoming traffic started going left, even though their light was definitely still red. Matt was entering the intersection at this time, so this van MAJORLY cut us off. (Gosh I can't even think of a way to explain this without pictures, because I didn't really get a chance to think it all just happened so fast).

Rear break locked, twice, and long story short Virginia got whipped off the back left. Matt kept the bike up and thankfully no one was coming because we were now on the opposite side of the road, with a median and no real easy way of crossing back to the correct side of the road. Anyway... I fell on my left knee and shoulder, then hit my head, and rolled onto my back and side. We were going about 40 when this happened so I have a little road rash on my leg, and some scratches on the helmet and jacket. Needless to say our grilled chicken pasta didn't survive and my work pants have seen better days.

We went back to BJ's (my work, haha) to get a new pasta and make sure everything was hunky dory on my body. I was a little nervous (OK, lie, A LOT nervous) on the ride back to BJ's. My friend brought me home in her car.

I've iced my knee and taken a few ibuprofren (or however it's spelled) and I am feeling well. I think I might be a little nervous on my next time out, but all in all Matt did a very good job of avoiding a further catastrophe... and I think an Angel was with us for sho!

As I keep thinking about it, and trying to describe what really happened it just gets harder. I wasn't scared. Seriously, as odd as that sounds, I just accepted the fact I was not in control and let what was going to happen-happen. The only real memory I have is seeing the side of Matt's bike within inches of my face and the sound of the helmet scraping on the ground.

Weird.

Mentally- I'm calm, and happy... like really... this hasn't phased me terribly. I accept its lesson and the gift that neither of us were badly injured (actually, I am the only thing that got injured [minus pasta all over the road and work pants]).

Theoretically I could be in shock, but really, I think I am just in love with riding motorcycles.

:)

Dear Life,
The last several days (basically since my last post) have been simply lovely. I am very happy, and am wonderfully in love with you and your gifts!

Thank you Life.

Love,
Virginia

Freewriting amidst a muddy mind

Walk a thin line and tell me how you feel.
Walk over coals and tell me how you feel.
Walk a thousand miles in summer sun and tell me how you feel.

It's a lot like hanging from a branch with ants crawling on your fingers.
It's a lot like microwaving a CD on high for 30 seconds.

Pretty fun at first but then a disaster.

Head butting. Sharp words. Evil eyes. Loud vibrations.
What happened? I'm sorry but I must have missed something.

Operational error.
I/O device error.
Internet Explorer cannot find the web page.

One speaker kinda crackles if you turn it up too loud.

Oops, wrong words. I could have sworn I knew this song.
Great now my throat stings. WTF, did you get me sick?

Sometimes, it is best to take some time to yourself...
Not easy, but best. Damn you life. Sometimes I effin' hate you.

What are you going to throw at me next? Who am I going to lose in order to gain myself? What am I going to learn? What "great lesson" do you have planned? What common phrase, or feel-good saying to you have for me, Life? What goes around comes around? We create our own universe? Every storm cloud has a silver lining?

How about this one?

"Screw you."

Time.

It's been far too long since a decent post...

...and you'll have to wait just a little bit longer.


Love,
Me